In search of a masculine apron

I haven't been able to post anything for two reasons.

1. I can't type.
2. I can't cook.

However, I found some of Quincey's food that he had missed and in exchange he agreed to type for me.

Hi, my name is Jack. At this point in my life, I am just a budding foodie, but that doesn't mean I don't have anything to contribute. Yes, it's true, sometimes I have a very limited palate, but sometimes I am ahead of my time. Like, today I decided to eat the rind of a lemon, pretty tasty. I managed to sneak in a couple of bites, before someone took it from me. Sigh.

Since everyone is always in the kitchen I find myself in there a lot, too. I love to climb up on the stool and supervise. Sometimes, I have been known to lend a helping hand. One of the biggest problems, while I like to wear an apron, is that I am stuck wearing this ridiculous apron. They try and tell me this is the most masculine apron in the house. Supposedly, it is red. I need a man's apron. Anyone know where I can get one, or have an old one? I mean come on, how is anyone going to take me seriously in this thing? My cooking tip in exchange for your help is: Dried fruit - chew well before swallowing. This is just the tip of the iceberg, I am full of helpful hints. You need me like I need a new apron. I am a man, I like trucks!

Hasta la Pasta!